It’s never spoken about
For many women it is the hardest thing, to say, to admit and to put it into words. Because all your life, probably, you’ve felt it, sensed it, but never really spoken it.
There is a tremendous amount of repressed hurt in relation to our mothers. I’ve sat with hundreds of women who live with the pain of feeling misunderstood at best, unloved at worst.
If this is you then you know that feeling, that loss, that troubled attachment, that deep disappointment - and how its affecting so much of your life.
We grieve for the kind of mothering we never had.
Most of the women I work with have either lost a wonderful mother, or they are struggling to come to terms with what their mother could never give them. These are the women who are angry. And ashamed. And in pain.
The pain of contrast
You may see others mothers and adult daughters, and know it’s a very different relationship to yours.
They are close. They share things. They spend time together. They turn to each other for understanding and support. They go shopping together. They enjoy each other. They share the celebrations and the tragedies of their lives. There is a deep mutual love and compassion. They are there for each other.
Sometimes it’s really hard to think of our mum as being emotionally absent or critical. But sadly we know the impact because we live with it.
We are each unique and impacted in different ways but there are some common themes. For example:
You might find it difficult to recognise your own emotions and needs. In fact you may deny your needs.
You may notice how you fight for affection. Or how you long for maternal love.
Or struggle with feeling insecure and anxious within your relationships.
You may be fiercely independent.
Or find it very hard to open up to someone.
You may feel detached or cut off from your feelings.
People may find you hard to reach.
Book your session
Healing is vital. This can change the course of the rest of your life.
I work from my lovely private practice in Kirby Muxloe.
Sessions are in-person, by phone, or by video call. I charge £65 for a 1hour session.
Please be assured that you will be sharing your world with a calm, non-judgemental, respectful and compassionate counsellor. My daily work includes helping women through the most painful of life experiences.
Sessions are pre-bookable and you can find out more by getting in touch with me: Email me here or call me 07342 652090